Alone

    Recently, I've been watching this show called, "Alone". It's about ten men, dropped off in some of the most dangerous places on the Earth, all by themselves, no one around, and they have to see how long they can survive, just them, a few supplies, a camera, and nature. The man that lasts the longest wins a ton of money.

    Honestly, it's a pretty awesome show. I love seeing these guys build fires, shelters, catch food, and document their adventures with the camera they were given. It's interesting to see how humans react to being alone with no distractions like smartphones and other people. These ten guys started dropping out of the competition like flies after being by themselves for a while in the wilderness. They began to tell the camera how frightening it was to be alone with just you and your thoughts.

    One guy confessed that his past failures began to creep up on him the longer he stayed in the wilderness. He told the camera that it was so different to have no distractions around you, erasing your problems temporarily. He felt vulnerable and afraid and he didn't like just sitting there in the woods having to face his problems.

    My point is, you don't always have to be in the wilderness by yourself to suddenly recognize that creeping feeling inside your soul where all your problems, failures, and relationships come into your brain. It happens to humans on a daily basis. 

   The main reason why people have addictions is because they are trying to "not feel" or avoid problems in their life. When those distractions are taken away, there's silence. And people can't stand silence.

   When I was in middle school, I became addicted to hardcore rap music. The explicit, really gross kind. I was struggling in middle school to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be and the devil took that opportunity to fill that hurting gap in my soul with sin. Those were the worst few years of my life. I BECAME those rappers in a way. I was angry like they were, I was confused like they were, and I was filling my soul with sin instead of Jesus… just like they were. I thank God that he intervened and my parents took iTunes off my phone. 

  A person without Jesus in the same situation, listening to rap music and getting busted by their parents, would feel ashamed of their mistake. And I definitely was humiliated at the time. What I didn't realize was that God was going to use my story for good. Without that dumb music, my personality began to change. I was happier, my relationship with my parents and friends was better, and I filled that hole that had been filled with rap music, with Jesus instead.

  I understood that he FORGAVE me. God wasn't ashamed of me for listening to bad music. He wasn't angry with me. He knew I was better than that and THAT'S why he intervened in the situation. He loves me so much and wanted me to fill that gap with him instead. I wasn't fulfilling my purpose in life and God helped me do just that.

  Since then, I've shared my music testimony all over my city. I've shared it at schools, teen conferences, and summer intensives for spiritual growth for kids. I'm not ashamed of my story anymore. I actually am proud of sharing what God did in my life to change me and bring me where I am today.

   Therefore, I'm okay with silence. Because I know God is bigger than all my problems and I don't need to be ashamed of my failures. When I'm by myself, there is a peace in my soul because God lives inside of me and I know how much he loves me. 

  Your problems are temporary, but God is eternal.