Everlasting Love

         

With Valentine’s Day being just two days ago, I thought this would be an opportune time to write about love and about what God has shown me as a fifteen-year-old girl this Valentine’s season.

I don’t know about you, but there are still visions of pink and red hearts and boxes of chocolate and bouquets of flowers dancing around in my head!

Unfortunately, with it being two days after Valentine’s Day, those flowers don’t look as lively and beautiful as they did the moment someone handed them to you and all that’s left of the candy you were given is a bunch of wrappers.

Does this depress anyone besides me? Can love represent more than the wilting flowers on our desks and the fading feeling in our hearts?

As a fifteen-year-old girl who doesn’t have a boyfriend or have any plans to start seriously thinking about dating, Valentine’s Day can be one of those days when I shrug my shoulders, receive the gifts my friends give me, and move on. After all, what’s the point of celebrating when you haven’t found true love yet?

That’s when I have to catch myself. The truth is, I have found true love. It’s just not in the form of roses, or a sweet note, or a giant red heart. It’s in the form of a wooden cross, crudely fashioned, with blood staining its bark. It’s found in the knowledge that God the Father looked specifically at me and thought, I love her and I want to spend eternity with her.

So He sent His perfect Son, Jesus, to die a horrible death in my place as a punishment for my sin. When He died, He made a way for me to be cleansed of my sin and have a relationship with a holy God. When He rose from the dead, He proclaimed to the world that He was greater than death and that He won the ultimate battle against the devil.

God did all this…because He loved me. Just like He loves you.

But what if I’d rather have the gifts and the roses? What if I want to know I’m loved right in this moment and not just two thousand years ago when Jesus died for me?

The great news is, God’s love doesn’t stop with the cross. He loved you before you even breathed your first breath and He will not stop loving you for eternity. His love for you right in this moment is as strong as it was when He carried that cross up the hill of Calvary. He sees you in this moment, He knows you and all your desires and fears, and He cherishes you for who you are.

God’s love does not compare you to other people. It does not criticize or condemn. Rather, instead of comparing you, He specifically chooses you as His own. Instead of criticizing you, He thinks the best of you and calls you special. Instead of condemning you, He defeated sin so that He could welcome you with open arms despite your past mistakes.

God’s love remains forever. It lasts so much longer than the wilting flowers or the fading ink of a pen on a note or the slight warming of your heart. Although these earthly things we cherish aren’t bad, they can hurt you and disappoint you when you base your entire identity on them. God has an identity for you, one rooted in true love, one based on the fact that He has redeemed you and calls you His beloved child.

So maybe today, you’re starting to feel let down because the love you felt on Valentine’s Day is slowly fading away. Maybe you’re scrambling desperately around trying to feel loved again, trying so hard to get someone to tell you that they care about you.

I’m here to tell you that God cares. He has always loved you and will always love you. You can trust His love, cling to His love, and find your true identity in His everlasting love for it will NEVER leave you or disappoint you.  

Alone

    Recently, I've been watching this show called, "Alone". It's about ten men, dropped off in some of the most dangerous places on the Earth, all by themselves, no one around, and they have to see how long they can survive, just them, a few supplies, a camera, and nature. The man that lasts the longest wins a ton of money.

    Honestly, it's a pretty awesome show. I love seeing these guys build fires, shelters, catch food, and document their adventures with the camera they were given. It's interesting to see how humans react to being alone with no distractions like smartphones and other people. These ten guys started dropping out of the competition like flies after being by themselves for a while in the wilderness. They began to tell the camera how frightening it was to be alone with just you and your thoughts.

    One guy confessed that his past failures began to creep up on him the longer he stayed in the wilderness. He told the camera that it was so different to have no distractions around you, erasing your problems temporarily. He felt vulnerable and afraid and he didn't like just sitting there in the woods having to face his problems.

    My point is, you don't always have to be in the wilderness by yourself to suddenly recognize that creeping feeling inside your soul where all your problems, failures, and relationships come into your brain. It happens to humans on a daily basis. 

   The main reason why people have addictions is because they are trying to "not feel" or avoid problems in their life. When those distractions are taken away, there's silence. And people can't stand silence.

   When I was in middle school, I became addicted to hardcore rap music. The explicit, really gross kind. I was struggling in middle school to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be and the devil took that opportunity to fill that hurting gap in my soul with sin. Those were the worst few years of my life. I BECAME those rappers in a way. I was angry like they were, I was confused like they were, and I was filling my soul with sin instead of Jesus… just like they were. I thank God that he intervened and my parents took iTunes off my phone. 

  A person without Jesus in the same situation, listening to rap music and getting busted by their parents, would feel ashamed of their mistake. And I definitely was humiliated at the time. What I didn't realize was that God was going to use my story for good. Without that dumb music, my personality began to change. I was happier, my relationship with my parents and friends was better, and I filled that hole that had been filled with rap music, with Jesus instead.

  I understood that he FORGAVE me. God wasn't ashamed of me for listening to bad music. He wasn't angry with me. He knew I was better than that and THAT'S why he intervened in the situation. He loves me so much and wanted me to fill that gap with him instead. I wasn't fulfilling my purpose in life and God helped me do just that.

  Since then, I've shared my music testimony all over my city. I've shared it at schools, teen conferences, and summer intensives for spiritual growth for kids. I'm not ashamed of my story anymore. I actually am proud of sharing what God did in my life to change me and bring me where I am today.

   Therefore, I'm okay with silence. Because I know God is bigger than all my problems and I don't need to be ashamed of my failures. When I'm by myself, there is a peace in my soul because God lives inside of me and I know how much he loves me. 

  Your problems are temporary, but God is eternal.

 

"Live It Well"

    One of the things I like to do every year (from the first day of school till the last), is think of a theme song for myself. I usually try to pick something that really goes along with whatever God's working with me on that year, one that really stands out. The kind of song that when you hear it you just go "Oh my gosh, God! That is so me!" or "That's just what I needed to hear". In the past, finding my theme song for the year hasn't been too much of a challenge. God will often give them too me pretty early on in the year. For example...

     In 8th grade, my song was "Oceans" by Hillsong United. 8th grade was a very challenging year for me, when God gave me PLENTY of opportunities to grow, calling me to step out in faith even when I didn't know what the end result might be or where He might take me! But I trusted Him, and I got to really taste and experience God's goodness for myself. So even though 8th grade was one of my toughest years (academically, spiritually, emotionally), it also ended up being one of my BEST years, too!
     
     In 9th grade, my theme song was "My Lighthouse" by Rend Collective. 9th grade is usually a HUGE transition year for most people, as it was for me, going into high school and everything. I was already kind of on the edge about it, and then I ended up spending my entire first semester in this gross, depressed, unhappy kind of mood. I was living as what I like to call, a "zombie teen", which so many high schoolers are caught up in nowadays. And though it took that whole first semester of my high school years to break out of the funk I was in, God finally "woke me up from my slumber" and called me back into being His lighthouse for all the other kids around me. 

     In 10th grade, God actually gave me my theme song before school even started! It was "Sinking Deep" by Hillsong Young & Free, and it's still one of my all time favorites! The message of that song really encouraged me to never forget how much God loves me and will take care of me no matter what kind of situations I'm facing. It helped me remember to stay focused on God and who He was calling me to be, despite who the people around me were choosing to be. It gave me a new confidence in Him that enabled me to stay strong and secure, living my life grounded in a firm foundation of His love.

     So... that's a brief history of "McKenna's theme songs"! But this year, it just seemed like it took forever for me to find that perfect song! Maybe it's because I haven't been through anything super "huge" in my life this year, or maybe it's just because I haven't really been putting much thought into what God's song for me was... But about a week ago, I finally found that perfect song! And I just thought I'd share a little bit about it and about the theme God's been working with me on for this year. 

"Live It Well"

Take the burden from my arms

Take the anchors off my lungs

Take me broken and make me one

Take the silence and make it a song

Life is short, I wanna live it well

One life, one story to tell

Life is short, I wanna life it well

And You're the One I'm livin for!

Awaken all my soul

Every breath that I take is a miracle

Life is short, I wanna live it well

I wanna sing with all my heart this lifelong song

Even if some notes come out right, and some come out wrong

Cause I can't take none of that through the door

Yeah, I'm livin for more than just a funeral

I wanna burn brighter than the sun

I got one life and one love

I got one voice, and maybe that's enough

Cause with one heartbeat and two hands

I got one shot

And one life to live

One life to live!

*Here's a link to the song if you wanna listen ;)

https://youtu.be/Ov_lnXy7tkQ

     So, as you can tell, the song God gave me for this year is "Live it Well" by Switchfoot. All this year, God has just really been working with me on living every day in an attitude of JOY! I want to enjoy every moment of my life, feeling so thankful and so blessed for all the things God's given me! Because living in an attitude of joy really does make life so much more special and fun and exciting and adventurous... It makes me love every single moment God's given me and experience the blessing in everything! Whether it's a super intense Pre-Calculus class, or a fun-filled hour of teaching little girls ballet, I've learned to be JOYFUL in all things, and seek out those new "God-Sightings" and special treasures that God's hides for me to find. :)

     I know this was a bit of a more casual post, but this is something I've definitely been wanting to share. I mean, even just listening to that song makes me feel happier! It makes me want to live BIG and BOLD and on fire for Christ! It makes me want to seek out the good in everything! It makes me want to laugh more, smile often, be my own wild self and love everyone... And I hope it does the same for you, too!

Nehemiah 8:10

"Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and 

sweet drinks, and share the gift of food with 

people who have nothing prepared. 

This is a sacred day before our Lord. 

Don't be dejected and sad,

for the joy of the LORD is your strength!"

P.S. I know I mention songs and song lyrics a lot in my posts... One of the things I love to do, is write down the lyrics in my journal of certain songs that really speak to me. We sing all these popular worship songs that we hear in church or on the radio all the time, but do we really know what we're singing about? I used to always just hear the lyrics and sing along, but I realized I wasn't really hearing the lyrics, if you know what I mean. I would just hear them and sing them from memory, without giving any thought to what those lyrics really meant. So now, I love to write the lyrics of my favorite songs out in my journal, then I can really think about them and understand what those words I sing all the time really mean. Not only does it give the song so much more significance and meaning to me, but it helps me know God and the character of God on a deeper lever as well. You should try it sometime :)

Two Things I Learned from the Nutcracker

I’m a dancer. From the first time I stepped onstage at age ten during a recital, I knew I had to keep dancing despite the long hours of practice and the amount of discipline it would take. Every performance I have, I still get that fluttery feeling, that insuppressible anticipation, that rush of adrenaline that I had the first time I danced. And even though some aspects of performing can be stressful (the cramped dressing rooms, the itchy costumes, and the hair that doesn’t ever stay the way it’s supposed to), it’s all worth it. The exhaustion and stress slide off my shoulders when I step onto that stage. Anyone who loves performing can relate to what I’m saying.

But even if you don’t love performing, I think you too can relate to what I’m about to say. I want to tell you two things that I learned from one of my recent performances. A few weeks ago, I performed in a local Nutcracker production. Being a part of it is one of my sisters’ and my favorite things about the holiday. Not only does it give us an opportunity to perform, but it gives us a chance to grow friendships and to show others’ Jesus’s love. This holiday season was no different. It was SUCH a fun experience and my sisters and I haven’t stopped talking about it and about how exciting it will be next year.

                       

During this year’s Nutcracker production, God showed me two things that helped me on stage and will also help me off stage in life.

First, I learned how to let go. It sounds simple. But it was anything but simple to me as I waited backstage before I was about to perform. I had six Nutcracker shows, and for every show, the pressure and fear of making a mistake would weigh me down. It was stressful and the tension was running high.

Then I heard God tell me to let go, to let go of my expectations, my capability, my self-confidence. As soon as I came to the end of myself, took my hands off of whatever I was clinging to, and acknowledged that God had everything I was worrying about in His hands, the weight was immediately lifted off. I could breathe and be confident in God’s goodness, His faithfulness, and His love. I could rely on His strength rather than my own. I could trust that He would take care of every single detail. I could walk in freedom because I was no longer in control of everything.

Once I let go and gave God everything, it was the most freeing feeling I had ever felt. And even now, when I’m not standing nervously backstage freaking out, I’m rejoicing in that same freedom. Even if I’m not burdened by performance pressures, the responsibilities, exhaustion, and expectations day to day are weights just as heavy. Just the other day, as I was on my way to dance practice at the studio, with the stress and strain of this world heavy upon me, I came to the end of myself again and said, “God, I let go.” With that simple prayer, I was released from the chains of my own expectations and I made a way for God to work in me.

Second, I learned that Jesus always stands in the fire beside me. This came from a line in Chris Tomlin’s song, “Jesus”. He stands in the fire beside me. As I recently reflected on that long week of Nutcracker, I realized that Jesus was there the whole time. He opened doors to share His love with my friends in the dressing rooms, His presence was sustaining me backstage, and His favor and love were shining upon me as I danced on that stage for Him. He was there, even when I didn’t acknowledge it. He was watching out for me and He worked out every single detail. A lot of things happened, on and off the stage, that I wouldn’t have been able to get through unless Jesus was there gently reminding me of His great love and power and favor. I was faced with many situations that involved peer pressure where I had to choose who I was going to honor. Even though it was hard at the time, God’s perfect Presence was with me and helped me make the right choices.

Now, as I ponder on the meaning of that line -He stands in the fire beside me- I am amazed. I’m amazed that He chooses to stand in the fire beside me. His love is so immeasurably great that He wouldn’t leave my side for anything. Even when I’m walking “through the fire”, through a rough season, through a difficult situation, He promises to never leave my side.

The same God wants to fight your battles. You only need to let go of yourself and let Him take over all the little details. As 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” My Nutcracker experience this year revealed the truth of this verse. When I choose to let go of everything –my anxiety, my pride, my stress- I realize how much God cares about me. I realize that He is always there standing beside me as I walk through life.

A Sunflower of the Son

     I've loved sunflowers ever since 8th grade. 

     It was the last day of school, and in middle school at Harvest, you are awarded a special character trait from your bible teacher at the end of the year, which they have thought about and prayed about all year long as they've watched you grow. But that year, my bible teacher decided to change things up a bit, as far as character traits would go, and instead of herself picking one word that she would describe each one of us as, she asked all of us 8th grade girls to choose one word to describe each other. 

     When the last day of school finally came, it was definitely a bitter sweet time for all of us, being our last award ceremony as middle school students. We all met in my bible teacher's room and she shared such sweet words of encouragement with us 8th grade girls, who were about to make the big transition into high school. Then, as she handed us each a beautifully decorated flower pot, on which was written all the kind words our classmates had thoughtfully chosen to describe us, I will never forget the special analogy my teacher shared with us about the sunflower. 

     Before I go any further, here's a little background information about this special flower that has grown quite dear to my heart over the years ~

No flower can lift someone's spirits quite like the sunflowers. They are bright and cheery, and as warm and inviting as the sweet summer sun. With brilliant yellow petals, also known as "rays", sunflowers have an unmistakable sun-like appearance that has made them a crowd favorite, especially in the summer months. Sunflowers come in a number of varieties- ranging from small to very large, from having yellow petals to red. However, there is more to sunflowers than meets to eye. While they are stunningly beautiful, they also are rich in history and meaning. 

Sunflowers symbolize adoration, loyalty and longevity. Much of the meaning of sunflowers stems from its namesake, the sun itself. These flowers are unique in that they have the ability to provide energy in the form of nourishment and vibrancy- attributes which mirror the sun and the energy provided by its heat and light. Sunflowers are known for being "happy" flowers, making them the perfect gift to bring joy to someone's (or your) day. 

     So going back to my story- that day in bible class, my teacher shared with us about the sunflower, encouraging us to grow to live just like it. 

     The sunflower always points to the sun (hence the name) and likewise, my teacher encouraged us to always live our lives in a way that points back to God. The sunflower stands tall above the rest, firm and secure, with roots growing deep in the dark soil it has been planted in. It withstands heat and drought, wind and rain- sometimes it may even be wilted or crushed by the circumstances around it- but with each new day that that sunflower remains alive and growing, you can always trust that it is going to point to the sun, no matter what.

     This is exactly what we are called to be, and exactly what I hope to be as a woman of God living in such a dry and weary world. It's a special metaphor that I have carried with me ever since that last day of middle school, and have allowed God to give even more meaning and significance to as time goes on.

     When I look out my window and see all the little wild sunflowers growing in my backyard (yes, I literally have sunflowers growing in my backyard!), I not only see those flowers as bright gifts of beauty and joy, but as a way of life. Every time I look out at those flowers, I am reminded of the high standard God holds me to and the great life He is calling me to live. And every day, I choose to accept that life God's made for me, and all the challenges, blessings, rewards, struggles, treasures, dangers, sorrows, adventures, joys and surprises that that life will bring. I know that I am a "sunflower of the Son", God's son, in my own way and style, and I know that I have something special of my own that He's given me to bring to this world. :)

     So, I would like to encourage you to do just the same. To live the amazing life He's calling you to live. Because God has made you to do incredible things- to show this world what a life lived with Christ really looks like!- and as my mom once told me, know that

"You are the grandest and most beautiful of flowers. 

In a landscape littered with the sameness of carnations and lilies 

and roses, you stand tall, strong, proud- unabashedly pointed directly 

at the One who gives you life. Your brightness and splendor 

bring warmth and comfort to any situation, your strength provides 

energy and life to whatever you put your hands to, 

and the seeds of your wisdom bring sustenance to those they reach. 

You are strong. You are beautiful. You are special. You are unique."

^^^This is a picture of one of the ones growing in my backyard :)

Chosen

You are no accident.

Before the beginning of time, God knew you. He knew everything about you and He loved you. He loved you with the same fierce, unconditional, perfect love that He does at this moment. He saw you and He saw the life that you were destined to have.

God, who spoke the brilliant stars into being, has a purpose for your life. He didn’t just make you. He didn’t just save you. He doesn’t just love you. He chose you.

He chose you to fulfill a certain destiny on this earth. For the future, that might look like being a missionary, a dancer, a sports player, a worship leader, an attorney, a filmmaker, a surgeon, a professor, a writer, or a stay-at-home parent. But what about the present? What if God created us for this certain time to love and encourage a certain friend, to change a school campus for His glory, to honor Him through our studies? He has chosen us, but not only for our future. He has chosen us to honor Him right now.

So that means the responsibilities we regard as mundane or unimportant are not accidents. Because God has perfectly positioned us exactly where we are, everything becomes meaningful. God doesn’t just see the big picture. He sees each detail every step of the way and He considers everything you’re doing to be significant.

You are chosen to be in the family, the school, and the classes you are in right now. There are always people who God wants you to reach, wherever you are.

You don’t have to be good enough to do what God has chosen you to do. Most of the time, you’ll feel too insignificant or too incapable. But God never stops believing in you, even when you or other people around you doubt the destiny He has for you. He knows what a HUGE difference you can make when you fully and completely rely on Him and when you trust that He has an amazing purpose for your life. He has an amazing purpose for you today.

McKenna and I were talking about this very topic a few days ago and I loved what she said:

God chooses us every day! And it’s so cool that He chooses us rather than picking us. I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about this before…but there’s a very subtle difference between being “picked” and being “chosen”…

When you think about it, to “pick” someone would be to say, “this is what I want you to do”, whereas to “choose” someone would be more like saying, “this is what you were made to do, and I don’t know of any other person who could do better”. And that’s exactly what God says to us-everyday.

I choose you today because there is no other person on this earth--present, past, or future--who will ever be able to fulfill the purpose I created you to fill.

You see, God’s purpose for your life is special. Never doubt that God has an amazing destiny for you no matter who you are, what your circumstances are, or what others have told you about yourself. You are special to God, you are loved by Him, and you are chosen by Him to advance His kingdom on this earth.

In the Waiting

     Wait. That is not a word we typically enjoy hearing. In an age where faster is better and everything is made accessible through technology, getting "NO" for an answer sometimes seems even better than "wait". 

     Yet isn't it obvious that this is one of God's favorite answers to give us... Wait. 
    
     In my own life, I feel like I've been in a season of waiting for a little while now. I've watched my friends and family start all kinds of new seasons of life: I have friends going on mission trips to places like Haiti and Thailand, friends who've just started the high school journey and friends who are now nearing graduation... and then here I am, living what feels like the daily routine of school, dance, family, friends, school, dance, family, friends. Not to say that I don't love my life- I do!- and I am very grateful! But, in the waiting, God has definitely been showing me some very special things that have encouraged me and reassured me of His Presence and constant involvement in my life...


1. Waiting is an Action
     When I looked up the definition of waiting, these are some of the things that came up...

     Waiting-
           to be available or in readiness for
           to look forward to eagerly
           to continue as one is in expectation of; await
           to be reserved for

     Waiting for God doesn't literally mean waiting for God, if you get what I mean. Waiting for God is not sitting around and hoping that He'll show up sometime soon. Waiting for God is a state of being watchful and expectant for Him to move. It's being on edge, knowing that something great is about to happen. 

     One picture that God always brings to my mind when I'm working on waiting, is the picture of the almond tree, one that my Bible teacher at school pointed out to me (Love you Mrs. Dormann!). The almond tree is barren all winter, but it's also the first to bloom in the spring. And the cool thing is that the original Hebrew word for "almond" is actually the same Hebrew word for "waiting". 

     Like the almond tree, God wants us to be barren and naked before Him, with branches stretching heaven-ward as we expectantly wait for Him to come and allow us to blossom in His presence.


2. Waiting is a time of Preparation 
     Another thing we have to remember about waiting, which I am always reminding myself, is that it's not a time to be passive, but to prepare. After all, the whole reason God normally tells us to wait, is because we're not ready for what's coming. So, when we are in the waiting, we should be focused on taking time to grow ourselves and our relationship with God in order to fully equip ourselves for the great things that He has coming for us. 


3. God Loves to be in the Waiting 
     This is my favorite part of waiting- the fact that God waits with me. And one song that spoke this to me more than ever was "Take Courage" by Kristene Dimarco from Bethel Music...

Slow down take time

Breathe in He said

He'll reveal what's to come 

The thoughts in his mind

Always higher than mine

He'll reveal all to come

So take courage my heart

Stay steadfast my soul

He's in the waiting 

He's in the waiting

Hold on to your hope 

As your triumph unfolds

He's never failing

He's never failing

Sing praise my soul

Find strength in joy

Let His words lead you on

Do not forget 

His great faithfulness

He'll finish what He's begun 

And You who hold the stars

Who call them each by name

Will surely keep your promise to me

That I will rise in your victory 

     ...I just love that SO MUCH! I can take courage and stay steadfast because He IS in the waiting and He WILL fulfill His promises to me! 

     So no matter what you may be waiting for- whether it's a better grade in your math class or a HUGE miracle in your family- take courage and enjoy every single moment you get to spend in the waiting with God! He loves you so much and He's never going to let you down.

"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will 

carry it on until the day of completion in Christ Jesus."

~ Philippians 1:6